


see my dreams all die

by bloodandcake



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e22 The Departed, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heartbreak, Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 17:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2660447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcake/pseuds/bloodandcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Stefan saves Elena instead of Matt, and it all goes downhill from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	see my dreams all die

There is water in his lungs, panic in his heart, and in front of him Elena is gesturing towards Matt, telling Stefan: _Save him, not me, please save him,_ and Stefan knows that he should do what she asks, should respect her decisions, but he can’t, not this time.

He’s too selfish for that.

When he grabs her arm, she struggles, and he’s sure that she would be shouting desperately at him if they weren’t underwater, but he’s infinitely stronger than her.

She doesn’t stand a chance.

-

Damon knows perfectly well that he won’t be able to fight Crazy Ric off for long, so he spents most of the time dodging his strikes and trying to reason with him.

It doesn’t work.

Somehow, that doesn’t surprise him.

_Whoah, hey, buddy,_ he says, holding up his hands in a hopefully calming fashion, _let’s just not do this, okay? Come on, Ric, I know you’re somewhere in there._

For a brief moment, there is something like sadness flashing in his eyes. Then, his hand breaks through Damon’s chest and rips his heart out.

Damon dies thinking of his brother.

Somehow, that doesn’t surprise him, either.

-

Elena refuses to talk to him.

He knows, she has every right to, and honestly he hates himself more than he can imagine she hates him right now, but it just hurts so _damn_ much to see her cry and cry and cry until she has no more tears left, and know that she won’t accept his comfort.

If he had any comfort for her, that is.

_I’m so sorry,_ he whispers, _I’m so, so sorry,_ and it’s not only directed at Elena, but mostly towards a certain kind human friend that will never have a chance to grow old now.

_I told you to save him,_ Elena whispers, _why didn’t you save him?_

She goes back to ignoring him then, and that’s when he starts crying himself.

-

Rebekah stands hidden in the shadow of a tree, watching Stefan and Elena cry separately and feels an odd mix of numbness and pain in her heart, thinking: _What on earth did I do?_

She tried to save herself and her only brother that is still left, that is what she did. And she didn’t even succeed.

That’s when it hits her. _Oh God,_ is all she can think. _Oh God, please, no._

She killed Matt, poor, innocent Matt instead of Elena, which means that Alaric Saltzman is still alive and after her. Which means that right now, she’ll have to step out of the place where she’s hiding and kill Elena, too. 

_I can‘t do this,_ she thinks, but she knows that she has to. 

_Mother was right. I truly am a monster. We all are._ She takes a step forward, and that is when a cool hand grabs her wrist.

Elijah’s hazel eyes are calm, even though she can see an echo of her own pain hidden deep in them. 

_Don’t,_ he says.

Slowly, very slowly, she nods and takes his hand.

-

_Well,_ Klaus says, stretching Tyler’s body and observing the way his fingers move when he forms a fist, _that is certainly an interesting feeling._ He looks up when the Bennett witch returns. _What next, love?_

That’s when he notices the tears on her face and the way she looks down on her cell phone as if she still can’t believe what she has just been told.

_Listen,_ she says, _I’m tired of your crap, Klaus. Do whatever it is you do when you’re not busy ruining someone’s life. I can’t deal with you right now._ When he gives her a very irritated look, she adds: _Matt was killed. By your sister, if you care._

_No,_ he want to say, I most certainly don’t. But then, the face of a beautiful blonde vampire girl that likes horses and cheerleading comes to his mind and he thinks: _Oh._

_And don’t you dare try something with Caroline while you’re in that body,_ she continues. _I already told her that it’s you. It won’t work._

Somehow, the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind.

-

Stefan doesn’t need to use his supernatural hearing abilities to know that Jeremy is throwing things in the next room, or that Caroline is sobbing quietly next to him.

He wishes he could just tune it out. But then again, it wouldn’t make anything better.

There’s a voicemail on his cell phone, and when he he plays it, Rebekah tells him: _I’m sorry, Stefan. I really am. I wish I hadn’t done it. I know that you’re probably blaming yourself right now, but you shouldn’t. It was me, after all._

_I chose to spare Elena though, in case you didn’t notice. Maybe that will make you hate me a little less. Don’t bother coming after us, as you can guess, we already got someone chasing us._

_Matt was a good person. He didn’t deserve this. Please tell Elena I apologized._

_Goodbye, Stefan._

When he finishes listening, Elena is standing behind him, talking to him for the first time in hours.

_I’m gonna find Damon,_ she says, and he nods. _I will come with you._

-

When Tyler Lockwood of all people manages to track them down and knock at the door of their hotel room, Elijah takes one look at him and knows what’s going on.

Tyler, no, Klaus, grins at him, asking: _Did you miss me?,_ and he is torn between pulling his brother into a hug and slamming the door in his face.

In the end, he just steps aside and lets him enter.

-

Elena is the one who sees Damon first and her stomach turns for the second time that night.

_No,_ Stefan’s horrified voice whispers behind her, but she doesn‘t turn to look at him when she runs towards the body lying on the floor, beautiful blue eyes empty and dead. 

She shakes him and shakes him, screaming: _Damon, wake up, please!,_ but nothing happens, because Damon will never wake up, and then she’s crying again, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she curls up next to his body, feeling like she will never be happy again in her life.

Beside her, Stefan clings to his brother’s hand and looks like all he wants is for their positions to be reversed.


End file.
